Violet Hill
by Sammy41
Summary: Bella dies during child birth, breaking apart the Cullen family in much greater ways than anticipated. Edward is lost while the family raises his son.
1. Prelude

The gymnasium was packed full and Carlisle Cullen struggled to weave his way through the bustling crowd. An enthusiastic sea of grandparents, parents, siblings, and other relatives clogged every possible space for movement, and silently he cursed himself for not leaving the hospital sooner. He desperately scanned the rows of people, hoping to spot the familiar mahogany top of Esme's head. Her short stature wasn't much help in this particular situation but upon seeing her, a smile graced his face. It should have come as no surprise to see her in one of the first few rows reserved for parents. They'd been to plenty of high school graduations, but he knew this one in particular held deep sentiment.

"I was worried they started without me," Carlisle said as he slipped into the empty seat beside her.

"That makes two of us," Esme replied. They shared a brief kiss and he eased an arm around her slender shoulders. "What took you so long?"

"I got paged on my way out," he explained.

"Well, I'm glad you're here now," she beamed.

"Me too," Carlisle said. He squeezed her hand into his own. "I can't remember the last time I actually looked forward to one of these things."

"He grew up way to fast," Esme sniffled. There would have been tears if her body could produce them but instead she struggled with a trembling lip and other crying associated tendencies. Carlisle squeezed her closer and kissed the side of her head.

"Don't be sad darling. This is just the first of many," Carlisle smirked.

"It's still the first," she said, regaining her composure. "Edward should be here."

Carlisle frowned. The thought had been haunting him for the past week. It'd been nine years since they'd last seen Edward. Nine years since they'd left Forks, Washington for Marquette, Michigan. None of them had heard from Edward since then. According to Alice he was still alive but since being with the Volturi, Edward succeeded in blocking her out from gaining insight about his future. The thought of his son working closely with the ruthless Coven made Carlisle's spine curl. He wasn't one to judge – after all, he'd spent his fair share of time with Aro and the others – but this was different. Edward was at their service. And worse than that, Carlisle couldn't get the evocative image of Edward's deadly scarlet eyes out of his head. It was a look he'd never seen in the young man. It was in that moment before parting ways that Carlisle came upon a heartbreaking conclusion; Edward Cullen was gone.

"Roger Andrew Byerly…Hillary Lee Carpenter…Elizabeth Noelle Cramer"

A sputter of applause came after each name. Students whisked across the stage in navy robes and caps, shook hands with the administration and latched onto their diploma. Carlisle smirked to himself at Esme's clear excitement. The closer the names got to Cullen, the tighter her grip became on his hand.

Perhaps the only good that had come of the tragedy nine years ago was watching the growth of his grandson and the happiness it brought Esme to raise him. Though neither would admit it, a child of their own was the only thing missing from their loving marriage. While Edward and Bella's son wasn't of their own blood, the baby was as much their own as any other. There had been many a night Carlisle was guilty of peering in on Esme comforting the baby as it cried, feeding him in the middle of the night, singing and reading to him as he grew. She was a perfect, loving, compassionate mother. He knew she would never come out and say it – for she still mourned for her son and daughter as much as everyone else – but her time with the baby was a dream finally becoming reality. Carlisle couldn't help but find irony in the fact that such joy had been birthed from such great horror.

"Charles Anthony Cullen."

Identical, wide grins stretched Esme and Carlisle's faces as the young man glided across the stage. He gracefully received his diploma, briefly smiling down at his parents before continuing across stage. His movements and appearance were uncannily similar to his biological father's. Still, Charlie was built broader and taller than Edward. His shoulders were full and his chest wide. He was a few inches taller than Carlisle and though not near as large as Emmett, maintained a sturdy physique. He had Edward's facial structure. A stiff jawline and defined chin sculpted his perfectly smooth, pale face. His smile fell in the same crooked shape as his father's, but his eyes were clearly Bella's. They were auburn jewels, speckled with mahogany and black shades, always childish and imploring. Though technically only nine years old, the vampire hybrid had developed into a striking young man.

"I can't believe we made it," Esme whispered happily.

Carlisle nodded, for his wife couldn't have said it any better. The last nine years had been about surviving and coping. Though Charlie's graduation certainly wasn't the end of the journey, it finally felt like they'd reached a point of reprieve.

"We couldn't have done this without you," Carlisle whispered into her ear. It was true. In the beginning, while everyone was mourning Bella's death and distraught over Edward's departure, it was Esme who brought everyone together. It was Esme, like any matriarch, who kept love and warmth in the house, even in the darkest of times. And it was Esme who raised Charlie like her own son, showering him with the affection his biological parents couldn't. As much as Carlisle cared for the child, it was difficult to imagine rearing the boy on his own. Babies and children were new territory but Esme had led the way without reservation. And now, at the graduation ceremony, they could celebrate a job well done.

"I love you," she told him.

"I love you too."

Following the ceremony, Esme and Carlisle were forced back into the tumultuous crowd. They looked young to be parents, earning them several skeptical looks among the group of parents. The couple only smiled and exchanged knowing looks as they held hands.

"Mom! Dad!"

As soon as he was within reach, Esme grabbed him into a hug. Charlie grinned as he embraced her while Carlisle shook his hand. "Congratulations, son."

"Thanks," he grinned. Charlie chuckled as he held his mother in an embrace. "Mom, please don't cry."

"I'm not crying," Esme insisted unconvincingly.

"Your brothers and sisters wanted to come but we couldn't get more tickets," Carlisle told him. "They're waiting for us at the house."

Charlie grinned. "Good because Emmett owes me a rematch…"

"No, no rematches. The last time you two insisted on rough housing, you tore apart three different rooms," Esme scolded. "I for one would like a civil, wholesome family gathering…"

"Congratulations shithead," Emmett greeted as soon as his parents and nephew came through the door.

"Emmett Cullen, what have I told you about that language," Esme glared.

Her scolding went unnoticed however as Emmett and Charlie shared an embrace. The large clan happily swarmed in the living room and Charlie was sure to give each person a greeting. Being surrounded by his family was always a sure way to brighten his spirits and the positive energy worked both ways. Since he was a small boy, Charlie always radiated with enthusiasm and positivity, drawing people of all kinds into his presence. His childish laughter and at times incorrigible curiosity made him a joy to be around.

"We're so proud of you," Alice said, eagerly pulling him into a hug.

"Even though we all know Carlisle donated a generous amount to George Washington High School to insure your diploma," Jasper teased.

"It seems like only yesterday you were a baby," Rosalie sighed forlornly. She always had a tender spot in her heart for Charlie. After Edward's departure, she'd spent much of her time admiring the baby and helping Esme handle the quick growing child. While Esme and Carlisle taught him about values and manners and schoolwork it was Emmett and Rosalie who'd introduced him to the best ways to hunt and climb and run and even fight. Charlie was the little brother Emmett never had and the son Rosalie always wanted.

"Now you're starting to sound like Esme," Carlisle chuckled.

"How much did mom cry?" Emmett asked as he wrapped an arm around Rosalie.

"Hard to tell without any actual tears," Charlie smirked.

"I'm glad you all think it's funny but it was sentimental," Esme insisted. "It's been a long time since it's been someone's first graduation."

"Yes and I hope you appreciated all the magic. Enjoy doing it thirty more times," Jasper groaned.

"You're exaggerating, it hasn't been thirty times," Alice said. She gazed off in confusion. "At least I don't think it's been thirty…"

"Well, the next time I graduate hopefully it will be from college," Charlie replied with an enthusiastic grin. He'd changed out of his cap and gown and wore a flannel shirt and jeans. The sleeves were pushed past his elbows and a few strands of copper hair fell to his forehead.

"You've decided where you're going?" Rosalie asked.

"Northwestern," Charlie smiled.

"Carlisle found a position at a hospital in Chicago," Esme put in.

The family lounged happily in the living room. Esme and Carlisle held hands on the sofa while Rosalie leaned into Emmett. Jasper and Alice were settled on the floor while Charlie sat on the ottoman. It was a rare thing for them to all to be in the same place anymore. Now that Charlie was grown, Emmett and Rosalie spent a majority of their time travelling. They'd spent the last year in Russia, which seemed to suit them well. Emmett looked like a born in bred Soviet when he put on a fur hat and long jacket. Jasper and Alice were busy attending classes in Maine and commuted back and forth when time permitted. In most cases it was just Esme, Carlisle, and Charlie in Michigan. It's what made the gathering all the more enjoyable.

"Do you have any idea what you want to study?" Jasper asked.

"Pre-med," Charlie answered. He gave a proud grin. "I decided I want to be a doctor, like dad."

Emmett gave a deep laugh while the rest of the room fell silent. Rosalie smacked her husband in the arm. "But that takes a lot of schooling," Alice eased in gently.

"I know," Charlie nodded eagerly, oblivious to the somberness surrounding him. "Four years of undergraduate work and then medical school for four more years and then more time as an intern and resident. It will be hard work but it's what I want to do. Besides, I have dad to show me the ropes…"

"Charlie," Carlisle cleared his throat. Esme had a fierce grip on his hand as if warning him to be careful with his words. Already he was inwardly pained with what had to be said. "I think it's great that you've found something you want to do but you realize by the time you'd finish it'd be roughly ten years."

Charlie nodded again, but this time he faltered with confusion. "I know," he said.

"That would mean you'd be twenty-eight years old," Carlisle elaborated. He gave a grimace. "You see, you're not going to mature anymore. We've talked about that, remember?"

"Well, yeah, but I can still be a doctor. You're a doctor," Charlie insisted.

"I still look twenty-three. It's not as big of a stretch," Carlisle replied. "And even then, I'm lucky if I can stay ten years before people start to get suspicious."

"Oh," Charlie nodded. The previous enthusiasm in his voice had disappeared and the brightness of his eyes was gone. Esme frowned with empathy, her heart aching at her son's disappointment. Rosalie bashfully lowered her head and Jasper uncomfortably twiddled his thumbs.

"I'm sorry, Charlie," Carlisle sighed.

"No, it's okay," he insisted. "I get it. I was just being stupid."

"It wasn't stupid, honey," Esme told him.

Charlie forced himself to remain upbeat in order to avert any pity. It was a habit he was accustom to and as uncomfortable as it was, he produced a half smile. "It's probably in the best interest of the human race that I'm not trusted with scalpels," he joked.

"I'm glad you realized it before I had to break it to you," Emmett jeered. He sensed the uneasiness in the house and sought to bring a lighter mood. He rose from the couch and slapped Charlie on the back. "I don't know about you, but I'm hungry. And I believe you owe me a rematch…"

"First one to draw blood wins?" Charlie smiled.

"It sounds so morbid when you say it like that," Rosalie shook her head.

"Jaz, you coming?" Emmett asked.

"Right behind you," he said.

The trio sped off in a flash before Esme could warn them to be careful.

Charlie Cullen couldn't sleep.

And like all other evenings when rest wouldn't find him, he hopped onto the roof. The Cullen home was settled near the edge of Lake Superior, giving them an ideal view of the water. Sometimes when Charlie felt the urge, he would plunge into the lake for a swim. Other times he found solace in fishing or taking a canoe out with his father. It was an ideal place to grow up. It was an ideal place to live. And yet for the first time in all his years, he couldn't help but feel forlorn as he stared out into the night.

From what he could remember of his early life it had been pleasant. Being half-human, half-vampire wasn't necessarily easy but his parents were great teachers and supporters, constantly helping him to better understand his lineage. His brothers and sisters were equally caring and at times extremely protective. It was somewhat expected considering he was the baby of the coven. He never knew why, but Esme and Carlisle always treated him differently. At first he thought it was because he was the youngest but now that he looked as old as everyone else, it was hard to believe their secret longing looks were related to his youth. The older he got the stranger it seemed.

After hunting with his brothers, Charlie spent plenty of time with the rest of his family. He'd missed having them all together and relished in their time. For graduation Carlisle and Esme bought him a car. It was a sleek, black chrome, two door muscle car with an '60s like appeal. Emmett and Rosalie bought him a watch, while Alice and Jasper promised to take him to Africa over the summer. While he certainly didn't need gifts, Charlie appreciated their generosity. But despite all the fullness and kindness his family provided, he couldn't help but feel as though something was missing. He'd never before wondered about where he'd come from or who he was; not until now.

Not until he came to the dark realization that he would be stuck like this. It was ignorant of him to think he could succeed at blending into human society. Still, his dreams of being a doctor were now torn to shreds, leaving him with nothing to ponder but how he would repeat four painful years of high school over and over. He would always be eighteen. He would be stuck alone for eternity, making no progress, no change, and no difference. Never before had it all seem so depressing.

And now as he stared into the night, realizing his life would be one, continuous, repetitive loop until the end of time, he needed answers. He needed to know where he came from in order to have any idea about who he would be.

"You can't feel bad, Carlisle," Jasper assured his foster father. "He had to find out eventually. It's better that he knows now."

"I only wish it weren't this way," he muttered.

"He could do it, couldn't he?" Esme asked hopefully. "We could just say he was a prodigy or a genius…"

"It would draw attention, darling," Carlisle said.

"I just don't like seeing him upset," she mumbled.

"Have you told him anything else?" Rosalie asked.

"What do you mean?"

"About Edward," Alice murmured.

The living room went tense. Carlisle and Esme exchanged glances. "No," he replied.

"I thought you said before he graduated you would tell him," Rosalie said.

"It's not that easy, Rose," Esme told her.

"The longer you keep it a secret from him, the harder he'll take it," Alice mused.

"I think he'll take it hard anyway," Emmett spoke up. "To find out that you killed your mother and your father didn't want you; that's harsh for anyone."

"So you're just never going to tell him the truth?" Alice asked.

"The chance will present itself," Carlisle said. "Until then, not knowing isn't causing him harm."

"I still find it weird that he thinks we're his brothers and sisters," Rosalie said.

"I think it's funny he doesn't call Esme and Carlisle grandma and grandpa," Emmett chuckled.

"Jasper and I visited Forks a few months ago," Alice revealed.

A few of the family members pulled in a cautious gasps. "Alice, you know that's forbidden," Carlisle said.

"It was a brief visit. We just wanted to see if Edward was in town," she clarified. "Besides, those oafish wolves were too dumb to realize we were even there."

Jasper raised his hands in surrender to the group who still seemed less than pleased. "It was her idea," he insisted.

"It was an unnecessary risk. The last thing we want is to draw attention not only from the wolves but the Volturi," Carlisle advised. Just saying the Coven's name brought the family secret pain but he ignored the sting of the words.

"Have you heard from them?" Rosalie asked gently.

Carlisle shook his head. "I've been in contact with Aro. He's warned us that one slip with Charlie and we'll be facing severe consequences. When I asked him about Edward he ended our conversation…"

"So that means he's with them?" Alice asked.

"It's a possibility," Carlisle nodded. "But in the meantime, we can't be careless. No more trips to Forks, Washington, no more searching for Edward. If he wants us to find him, he would let us know."

Charliejamin nearly gasped at the revelation. Instead he remained silent behind the corner, slinking down to the floor against the wall where he stood. New truth meant new lies. He shook his head in disbelief. It wasn't the betrayal he was expecting or the way he intended to learn of his past, but one thing quickly became clear; he knew what he was to do next.


	2. Chapter One

The gymnasium was packed full and Carlisle Cullen struggled to weave his way through the bustling crowd. An enthusiastic sea of grandparents, parents, siblings, and other relatives clogged every possible space for movement, and silently he cursed himself for not leaving the hospital sooner. He desperately scanned the rows of people, hoping to spot the familiar mahogany top of Esme's head. Her short stature wasn't much help in this particular situation but upon seeing her, a smile graced his face. It should have come as no surprise to see her in one of the first few rows reserved for parents. They'd been to plenty of high school graduations, but he knew this one in particular held deep sentiment.

"I was worried they started without me," Carlisle said as he slipped into the empty seat beside her.

"That makes two of us," Esme replied. They shared a brief kiss and he eased an arm around her slender shoulders. "What took you so long?"

"I got paged on my way out," he explained.

"Well, I'm glad you're here now," she beamed.

"Me too," Carlisle said. He squeezed her hand into his own. "I can't remember the last time I actually looked forward to one of these things."

"He grew up way to fast," Esme sniffled. There would have been tears if her body could produce them but instead she struggled with a trembling lip and other crying associated tendencies. Carlisle squeezed her closer and kissed the side of her head.

"Don't be sad darling. This is just the first of many," Carlisle smirked.

"It's still the first," she said, regaining her composure. "Edward should be here."

Carlisle frowned. The thought had been haunting him for the past week. It'd been nine years since they'd last seen Edward. Nine years since they'd left Forks, Washington for Marquette, Michigan. None of them had heard from Edward since then. According to Alice he was still alive but since being with the Volturi, Edward succeeded in blocking her out from gaining insight about his future. The thought of his son working closely with the ruthless Coven made Carlisle's spine curl. He wasn't one to judge – after all, he'd spent his fair share of time with Aro and the others – but this was different. Edward was at their service. And worse than that, Carlisle couldn't get the evocative image of Edward's deadly scarlet eyes out of his head. It was a look he'd never seen in the young man. It was in that moment before parting ways that Carlisle came upon a heartbreaking conclusion; Edward Cullen was gone.

"Roger Andrew Byerly…Hillary Lee Carpenter…Elizabeth Noelle Cramer"

A sputter of applause came after each name. Students whisked across the stage in navy robes and caps, shook hands with the administration and latched onto their diploma. Carlisle smirked to himself at Esme's clear excitement. The closer the names got to Cullen, the tighter her grip became on his hand.

Perhaps the only good that had come of the tragedy nine years ago was watching the growth of his grandson and the happiness it brought Esme to raise him. Though neither would admit it, a child of their own was the only thing missing from their loving marriage. While Edward and Bella's son wasn't of their own blood, the baby was as much their own as any other. There had been many a night Carlisle was guilty of peering in on Esme comforting the baby as it cried, feeding him in the middle of the night, singing and reading to him as he grew. She was a perfect, loving, compassionate mother. He knew she would never come out and say it – for she still mourned for her son and daughter as much as everyone else – but her time with the baby was a dream finally becoming reality. Carlisle couldn't help but find irony in the fact that such joy had been birthed from such great horror.

"Benjamin Anthony Cullen."

Identical, wide grins stretched Esme and Carlisle's faces as the young man glided across the stage. He gracefully received his diploma, briefly smiling down at his parents before continuing across stage. His movements and appearance were uncannily similar to his biological father's. Still, Ben was built broader and taller than Edward. His shoulders were full and his chest wide. He was a few inches taller than Carlisle and though not near as large as Emmett, maintained a sturdy physique. He had Edward's facial structure. A stiff jawline and defined chin sculpted his perfectly smooth, pale face. His smile fell in the same crooked shape as his father's, but his eyes were clearly Bella's. They were auburn jewels, speckled with mahogany and black shades, always childish and imploring. Though technically only nine years old, the vampire hybrid had developed into a striking young man.

"I can't believe we made it," Esme whispered happily.

Carlisle nodded, for his wife couldn't have said it any better. The last nine years had been about surviving and coping. Though Ben's graduation certainly wasn't the end of the journey, it finally felt like they'd reached a point of reprieve.

"We couldn't have done this without you," Carlisle whispered into her ear. It was true. In the beginning, while everyone was mourning Bella's death and distraught over Edward's departure, it was Esme who brought everyone together. It was Esme, like any matriarch, who kept love and warmth in the house, even in the darkest of times. And it was Esme who raised Ben like her own son, showering him with the affection his biological parents couldn't. As much as Carlisle cared for the child, it was difficult to imagine rearing the boy on his own. Babies and children were new territory but Esme had led the way without reservation. And now, at the graduation ceremony, they could celebrate a job well done.

"I love you," she told him.

"I love you too."

Following the ceremony, Esme and Carlisle were forced back into the tumultuous crowd. They looked young to be parents, earning them several skeptical looks among the group of parents. The couple only smiled and exchanged knowing smiles as they held hands.

"Mom! Dad!"

As soon as he was within reach, Esme grabbed him into a hug. Ben grinned as he embraced her while Carlisle shook his hand. "Congratulations, son."

"Thanks," he grinned. Ben chuckled as he held his mother in an embrace. "Mom, please don't cry."

"I'm not crying," Esme insisted unconvincingly.

"Your brothers and sisters wanted to come but we couldn't get more tickets," Carlisle told him. "They're waiting for us at the house."

Ben grinned. "Good because Emmett owes me a rematch…"

"No, no rematches. The last time you two insisted on rough housing, you tore apart three different rooms," Esme scolded. "I for one would like a civil, wholesome family gathering…"

* * *

><p>"Congratulations shithead," Emmett greeted as soon as his parents and nephew came through the door.<p>

"Emmett Cullen, what have I told you about that language," Esme glared.

Her scolding went unnoticed however as Emmett and Ben shared an embrace. The large clan happily swarmed in the living room and Ben was sure to give each person a greeting. Being surrounded by his family was always a sure way to brighten his spirits and the positive energy worked both ways. Since he was a small boy, Ben always radiated with enthusiasm and positivity, drawing people of all kinds into his presence. His childish laughter and at times incorrigible curiosity made him a joy to be around.

"We're so proud of you," Alice said, eagerly pulling him into a hug.

"Even though we all know Carlisle donated a generous amount to George Washington High School to insure your diploma," Jasper teased.

"It seems like only yesterday you were a baby," Rosalie sighed forlornly. She always had a tender spot in her heart for Benjamin. After Edward's departure, she'd spent much of her time admiring the baby and helping Esme handle the quick growing child. While Esme and Carlisle taught him about values and manners and schoolwork it was Emmett and Rosalie who'd introduced him to the best ways to hunt and climb and run and even fight. Benjamin was the little brother Emmett never had and the son Rosalie always wanted.

"Now you're starting to sound like Esme," Carlisle chuckled.

"How much did mom cry?" Emmett asked as he wrapped an arm around Rosalie.

"Hard to tell without any actual tears," Ben smirked.

"I'm glad you all think it's funny but it was sentimental," Esme insisted. "It's been a long time since it's been someone's first graduation."

"Yes and I hope you appreciated all the magic. Enjoy doing it thirty more times," Jasper groaned.

"You're exaggerating, it hasn't been thirty times," Alice said. She gazed off in confusion. "At least I don't think it's been thirty…"

"Well, the next time I graduate hopefully it will be from college," Ben replied with an enthusiastic grin. He'd changed out of his cap and gown and wore a flannel shirt and jeans. The sleeves were pushed past his elbows and a few strands of copper hair fell to his forehead.

"You've decided where you're going?" Rosalie asked.

"Northwestern," Ben smiled.

"Carlisle found a position at a hospital in Chicago," Esme put in.

The family lounged happily in the living room. Esme and Carlisle held hands on the sofa while Rosalie leaned into Emmett. Jasper and Alice were settled on the floor while Ben sat on the ottoman. It was a rare thing for them to all to be in the same place anymore. Now that Ben was grown, Emmett and Rosalie spent a majority of their time travelling. They'd spent the last year in Russia, which seemed to suit them well. Emmett looked like a born in bred Soviet when he put on a fur hat and long jacket. Jasper and Alice were busy attending classes in Maine and commuted back and forth when time permitted. In most cases it was just Esme, Carlisle, and Ben in Michigan. It's what made the gathering all the more enjoyable.

"Do you have any idea what you want to study?" Jasper asked.

"Pre-med," Ben answered. He gave a proud grin. "I decided I want to be a doctor, like dad."

Emmett gave a deep laugh while the rest of the room fell silent. Rosalie smacked her husband in the arm. "But that takes a lot of schooling," Alice eased in gently.

"I know," Ben nodded eagerly, oblivious to the somberness surrounding him. "Four years of undergraduate work and then medical school for four more years and then more time as an intern and resident. It will be hard work but it's what I want to do. Besides, I have dad to show me the ropes…"

"Son," Carlisle cleared his throat. Esme had a fierce grip on his hand as if warning him to be careful with his words. Already he was inwardly pained with what had to be said. "I think it's great that you've found something you want to do but you realize by the time you'd finish it'd be roughly ten years."

Ben nodded again, but this time he faltered with confusion. "I know," he said.

"That would mean you'd be twenty-eight years old," Carlisle elaborated. He gave a grimace. "You see, you're not going to mature anymore. We've talked about that, remember?"

"Well, yeah, but I can still be a doctor. You're a doctor," Ben insisted.

"I still look twenty-three. It's not as big of a stretch," Carlisle replied. "And even then, I'm lucky if I can stay ten years before people start to get suspicious."

"Oh," Ben nodded. The previous enthusiasm in his voice had disappeared and the brightness of his eyes was gone. Esme frowned with empathy, her heart aching at her son's disappointment. Rosalie bashfully lowered her head and Jasper uncomfortably twiddled his thumbs.

"I'm sorry, Ben," Carlisle sighed.

"No, it's okay," he insisted. "I get it. I was just being stupid."

"It wasn't stupid, honey," Esme told him.

Ben forced himself to remain upbeat in order to avert any pity. It was a habit he was accustom to and as uncomfortable as it was, he produced a half smile. "It's probably in the best interest of the human race that I'm not trusted with scalpels," he joked.

"I'm glad you realized it before I had to break it to you," Emmett jeered. He sensed the uneasiness in the house and sought to bring a lighter mood. He rose from the couch and slapped Ben on the back. "I don't know about you, but I'm hungry. And I believe you owe me a rematch…"

"First one to draw blood wins?" Ben smiled.

"It sounds so morbid when you say it like that," Rosalie shook her head.

"Jaz, you coming?" Emmett asked.

"Right behind you," he said.

The trio sped off in a flash before Esme could warn them to be careful.

* * *

><p>Benjamin Cullen couldn't sleep.<p>

And like all other evenings when rest wouldn't find him, he hopped onto the roof. The Cullen home was settled near the edge of Lake Superior, giving them an ideal view of the water. Sometimes when Ben felt the urge, he would plunge into the lake for a swim. Other times he found solace in fishing or taking a canoe out with his father. It was an ideal place to grow up. It was an ideal place to live. And yet for the first time in all his years, he couldn't help but feel forlorn as he stared out into the night.

From what he could remember of his early life it had been pleasant. Being half-human, half-vampire wasn't necessarily easy but his parents were great teachers and supporters, constantly helping him to better understand his lineage. His brothers and sisters were equally caring and at times extremely protective. It was somewhat expected considering he was the baby of the coven. He never knew why, but Esme and Carlisle always treated him differently. At first he thought it was because he was the youngest but now that he looked as old as everyone else, it was hard to believe their secret longing looks were related to his youth. The older he got the stranger it seemed.

After hunting with his brothers, Ben spent plenty of time with the rest of his family. He'd missed having them all together and relished in their time. For graduation Carlisle and Esme bought him a car. It was a sleek, black chrome, two door muscle car with an '60s like appeal. Emmett and Rosalie bought him a watch, while Alice and Jasper promised to take him to Africa over the summer. While he certainly didn't need gifts, Ben appreciated their generosity. But despite all the fullness and kindness his family provided, he couldn't help but feel as though something was missing. He'd never before wondered about where he'd come from or who he was; not until now.

Not until he came to the dark realization that he would be stuck like this. It was ignorant of him to think he could succeed at blending into human society. Still, his dreams of being a doctor were now torn to shreds, leaving him with nothing to ponder but how he would repeat four painful years of high school over and over. He would always be eighteen. He would be stuck alone for eternity, making no progress, no change, and no difference. Never before had it all seem so depressing.

And now as he stared into the night, realizing his life would be one, continuous, repetitive loop until the end of time, he needed answers. He needed to know where he came from in order to have any idea about who he would be.

"You can't feel bad, Carlisle," Jasper assured his foster father. "He had to find out eventually. It's better that he knows now."

"I only wish it weren't this way," he muttered.

"He could do it, couldn't he?" Esme asked hopefully. "We could just say he was a prodigy or a genius…"

"It would draw attention, darling," Carlisle said.

"I just don't like seeing him upset," she mumbled.

"Have you told him anything else?" Rosalie asked.

"What do you mean?"

"About Edward," Alice murmured.

The living room went tense. Carlisle and Esme exchanged glances. "No," he replied.

"I thought you said before he graduated you would tell him," Rosalie said.

"It's not that easy, Rose," Esme told her.

"The longer you keep it a secret from him, the harder he'll take it," Alice mused.

"I think he'll take it hard anyway," Emmett spoke up. "To find out that you killed your mother and your father didn't want you; that's harsh for anyone."

"So you're just never going to tell him the truth?" Alice asked.

"The chance will present itself," Carlisle said. "Until then, not knowing isn't causing him harm."

"I still find it weird that he thinks we're his brothers and sisters," Rosalie said.

"I think it's funny he doesn't call Esme and Carlisle grandma and grandpa," Emmett chuckled.

"Jasper and I visited Forks a few months ago," Alice revealed.

A few of the family members pulled in a cautious gasps. "Alice, you know that's forbidden," Carlisle said.

"It was a brief visit. We just wanted to see if Edward was in town," she clarified. "Besides, those oafish wolves were too dumb to realize we were even there."

Jasper raised his hands in surrender to the group who still seemed less than pleased. "It was her idea," he insisted.

"It was an unnecessary risk. The last thing we want is to draw attention not only from the wolves but the Volturi," Carlisle advised. Just saying the Coven's name brought the family secret pain but he ignored the sting of the words.

"Have you heard from them?" Rosalie asked gently.

Carlisle shook his head. "I've been in contact with Aro. He's warned us that one slip with Ben and we'll be facing severe consequences. When I asked him about Edward he ended our conversation…"

"So that means he's with them?" Alice asked.

"It's a possibility," Carlisle nodded. "But in the meantime, we can't be careless. No more trips to Forks, Washington, no more searching for Edward. If he wants us to find him, he would let us know."

Benjamin nearly gasped at the revelation. Instead he remained silent behind the corner, slinking down to the floor against the wall where he stood. New truth meant new lies. He shook his head in disbelief. It wasn't the betrayal he was expecting or the way he intended to learn of his past, but one thing quickly became clear; he knew what he was to do next.


	3. Chapter Two

**The Captain**

_He bit her. _

_The table was a mess with syrupy, scarlet blood. Her body was torn apart, pale and sickly._

_He bit her again. _

_It was all wrong. Certainly this wasn't how it was supposed to end, but with each passing moment, Edward became more certain that the worst had happened. His beautiful bride, the one he'd only been married to just a month, was about to leave him. Her heart rate was just a flutter. Her brown eyes were lifeless. And soon she would give up the struggle to survive the tumultuous birth of their child._

"_Please," he choked. _

_Jacob had left. Rosalie was with the baby. Only Edward remained at his beau's side, pleading and whimpering. He continuously pounded on her chest, determined to keep her heart in motion. The venom had to spread. It had to work. _

"_Bella, please," Edward begged. _

_She was limp Charlieeath him – nothing more than a corpse. It all happened so fast and now he could hardly believe that she could possibly leave him. Only thirty days ago they were exchanging vows and rings. Now she was departing this life for the next. He'd done everything to protect her – even from himself – but his efforts had been wasted. She was becoming nothing before his very eyes. She was slipping from his grasp. _

"_Bella!" he growled again. Her blood covered his hands in viscous dew. It had been at least twenty minutes, maybe forty, since he'd started CPR. She hardly responded to his painstaking efforts. He shook his head, shouting furiously, "No! No wake up! Now! Bella now!"_

_Beneath him he could hear the cry of their child. A son. He was born with a tuff of chocolate curls and sweet auburn eyes. Edward loved him at first sight and the twinkle that struck Bella's eye was enough to make him swoon. But now the innocent baby was a menace. A murderer. As he gazed down at his wife's unresponsive form, taking a hesitant step back from her deathbed, Edward could only feel rage. The grief and sorrow he expected with loss was absent. Instead he brashly struck out, throwing a tray of Carlisle's medical supplies into wall. He flipped over a table and slammed his fist into the window. The glass shattered with an enthusiastic chorus but failed to mar his hands and worse; it failed to stir his bride. _

_He collapsed to his knees next to her, squeezing her cold hand. "Please…" he whimpered. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…please come back to me." _

_He studied her intently, soaking in her dilapidated form with regret. This wasn't how he wanted to remember her. This wasn't how the last time he saw her was supposed to be. _

_They were supposed to have forever._

_Forever was over. _

"_Edward!" _

_Rosalie's screech came loud and terrified from below. Edward immediately tensed but lacked the motivation to leave Bella's side. There was a commotion from below but he couldn't find it in himself to move. His eyes remained latched on her face and his hand clenched on her lifeless arm. This was their last moment. This was where his heart and selfishness had led him. _

_He'd failed her. _

"_Edward! Edward help!" Rosalie begged. _

"_Go Edward," she whispered into his ear. _

_Edward nearly jumped to his feet at Bella's voice. Her lips were still pale and sealed. Surely she couldn't have spoken to him. And yet the voice was clear and adamant as if she were right in front of him. Edward remained on his knees, collapsed in a puddle of her red insides that covered the room. "Bella?" he croaked. _

"_They need your help," she cooed again, echoing in his head with clarity._

_He cowered at the sound and bowed his head. No, this wasn't the Bella lying on the table in front of him. This was her spirit. "Please, come back," he begged. _

"_Go to them. They need you," Bella's voice encouraged. _

"_Help! Edward!" Rosalie screamed. _

"_Do it for our baby. Do it for our son," she requested. _

_Edward glared up at her expressionless, still face. "Come back to me! Bella! Bella please!" he shouted. "Don't leave me!" _

"_Go Edward. You have to go…"_

"Bella!"

Edward didn't realize he was screaming until a graceful but firm hand landed on his forearm. He panted heavily, slowly focusing on the marble ceiling and draconian architecture. "Edward?" a female voice cooed. "Edward!"

He snapped out of his trance and quickly scrambled to a sitting position. "I'm sorry," he shook his head frantically. Edward slowly familiarized himself with his surroundings. He was seated atop a large bed. It was covered in dark furs of foreign animals, centered in silver and whitewashed walls. Strange statues of demons and angels decorated the room. Morbid paintings and abstract, medieval art stared down at them. He frowned at his companion. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"It's all right," she sighed. She was already wrapping a black, silk robe around her pale breasts, slowly unsaddling herself from his lap.

Edward ran a hand down his face and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Heidi, I'm so sorry, I . . ."

"It's fine," Heidi insisted. Her large, pouty lips fell with slight disappointment. "It wouldn't be the first time this has happened, would it?"

"I'm trying," Edward insisted. He was naked except for a pair of boxers and he bitterly raked a hand through his copper locks.

"It's been nine years. You'd think you'd be over your poor, tragic human bride," Heidi murmured, examining her cuticles with impatience.

"I wouldn't expect you to understand," he grunted in anger. His burgundy eyes flashed with hatred.

"I love it when you're agitated," Heidi smirked.

The voluptuous, toxically beautiful vampire lounged carelessly on the silk pillows of the bed. Four years ago Edward and Heidi began their sexual rendezvous, fueled by physical lust and void of feeling. Most of their encounters were angry, heated, desperate hours of sex, allowing Edward to momentarily lose himself in the whims of testosterone. Still, even after four years of meaningless fucking, he found himself haunted by the heart wrenching memories of his fallen beloved.

He yanked up his shirt and furiously began buttoning it. "I have work to attend to," he said.

"Oh please, like Aro cares," Heidi sighed. "You know, he prefers it like this."

"Like what?"

"The two of us, sleeping together. He's hoping it will take the edge off…."

"Well, it's not," Edward grumbled.

"I'll be sure to tell him to use you all he wants. You have plenty of time considering you apparently can't perform…"

Heidi was quickly pinned against the headboard of bed. Edward's forearm pressed against her throat. His face was inches from hers, his rose color eyes intense with rage. "You talk too much," he glared.

"You're too easy to provoke," Heidi hissed. Her fangs teasingly grazed along her irresistible lips. She took a hand and stroked his leg. "You want to be a man? Or do you want to cry about Bella?"

"Don't say her name," Edward warned.

"Bella, Bella, Bella . . ."

In an instant he bit down on Heidi's neck and she gave a loud shriek. A shiver went down his spine at the feeling of his teeth touching flesh. He aggressively pulled back and forced his mouth onto hers. She bit on his lower lip and he retaliated by twisting her down to the mattress on her back. He momentarily hovered over her, avoiding hesitation to stop remembering he was only indulging in a chance to forget. Then with a remorseful sigh, he took her.

* * *

><p>Charlie packed a bag full of clothes and a shoebox of memories into the backseat of his new car before swerving out of Marquette, Michigan. His father was at work and his mother was shopping, leaving him with the perfect chance for escape. It would take one day and eleven hours to reach Forks, Washington, but Charlie was hardly fazed by the distance. He'd spent two days since first hearing of the town to plan his departure. He was neither brash nor impulsive; Charlie was always logical. He depended on rationality and as he sped down the freeway, he grinned at his cleverness.<p>

Jasper and Alice as well as Rosalie and Emmett had gone back on their way, leaving only Esme and Carlisle to pay him any mind. It would be at least ten more hours before they became suspicious. By then he'd be nearly halfway to his destination. Alice would prove useless since she couldn't see his future and as far as the rest of the family knew, he was oblivious to the existence of a place called Forks. Of course, he didn't want to cause them unnecessary pain or worry and intended on calling them once reaching Washington. It was a sound plan. Well, except for the part about what actually happened when he reached Forks.

From what he could tell from his eavesdropping, the Cullens weren't necessarily welcome in the town. Yes, rationality may have successfully gotten him out of Marquette, but it didn't seem to do much for his sense of danger. Common sense told him to stay away; instinct told him to follow the uncertain path. In all other cases Charlie would have avoided risk all together, but the emptiness developing in his heart was enough to frighten him into just about anything. He didn't know what he was chasing but he knew he had to keep running. It was the only chance at answers.

Well, it wasn't his only chance. He could have asked Carlisle and Esme, but already it seemed clear they were adamant about keeping secrets. They'd lied to him since the beginning and now they hoarded the truth in hopes of protecting him. He wasn't angry with them. In some odd way, he understood. Since he could remember his parents had his best interest at heart. He didn't know anyone more selfless than Carlisle and no one more compassionate and kind than Esme. Still, while Charlie refused to blame or become enraged with his parents, a sting of betrayal was ever present.

It was enough to live a lie, performing a charade for the world, but it was something entirely different to realize the only people he believed he could be honest with were in fact fraudulent themselves.

* * *

><p>A consistent click echoed off the stone floors and walls, serving as a metronome of Edward Cullen's strides. He adjusted the cuffs of his shirt sleeves. His black designer suit and expressionless face were near trademarks of his appearance since taking up residence in Voltaire. The darkness of his clothes made his pale skin look all the more alabaster, and the wine colored tie around his neck glowed with the same burgundy as his impassive eyes.<p>

From down the corridor he could hear desperate screaming but the human whimpers did little to stir him. In fact, rather than cower, he moved toward the noise. He glanced at his watch. Heidi was surely bringing another round of tourists through for the Volturi to feast on. Edward rolled his eyes. While he was in no position to be righteous, he couldn't help but find the powerful trio greedy in their consumption of mere mortals. It seemed they had lost some of their restraint, quenching their thirst more frequently than necessary. Edward dined with them only when he could feel his strength starting to dwindle. As sweet the taste of human blood, he never allowed himself to consume for simple pleasure.

Winding up his shoulders and tensing his forearms, Edward threw open the heavy double doors of the Volturi's chambers. The source of the screaming became apparent as a pair of humans did their best to escape. The floors were already smeared with blood and corpses. Now the Volturi were simply playing with their dinner.

One of the victim's – a man with broken glasses and frazzled butterscotch hair – came sprinting in Edward's direction, desperate to slip out the door. With little thought Edward stopped him, easily clutching the man's face into his hands. He held his cheeks in his palms and glared into his weak, human eyes. They were blue, dim, terrified holes of humanity. Edward grew resentful at the man's very existence and with little effort, snapped his neck to the side, killing him instantly. The man went limp and Edward released him to the granite floor.

"Edward, so kind of you to grace us with your presence," Aro greeted him first. He sat atop his thrown, a leg casually crossed over his knee. His pale face was framed by long, dark hair. A bemused smirk quirked his mouth. "I believe Felix wanted that one."

Felix glared at Edward from behind. Apparently Edward had stolen his kill but he showed no remorse. Despite Edward's nine years with the Volturi guard, he and Felix had never mended their relationship. Ever since Felix nearly killed him over ten years earlier, Edward could only consider his fellow guardsman with contempt.

"Another round of tourists?" Edward observed callously. "Isn't that the third today?"

The room was crowded with several members of the Volturri guard. Aro, Marcus, and Caius lounged on their thrones, already satisfied, while others hovered above their meals. The feast made Edward disgusted with his own kind.

"So judgmental, Edward," Aro said. He appeared rather amused, a leg crossed over his lap.

"I would just hate to see you or the coven become gluttonous," he replied dryly. Felix glared at him, before crouching over the most recent kill and biting into the man's juicy neck.

"How decent of you," Aro replied.

"How can you let him talk like that?" Jane asked. She scowled at Edward, arms folded across her chest. Jane was almost always furious with Edward, jealous and displeased by the apparent special treatment Aro gave the vampire.

"It's fine, Jane," Aro told her. She stalked away and Edward smirked at her fury.

"You wanted me for something?" Edward asked. He glanced down to find his sleek leather shoes stepping on the edge of a bloody pool. He slowly stepped aside.

"You're not here to dine with us?" Marcus asked.

Marcus, of all the Volturi leaders, seemed to be most fond of Edward. The sullen, depressed vampire put forth more effort than usual to speak to Edward. He looked forward to his presence. It was an easy guess that perhaps Marcus found someone he could relate to in Edward. The two men had both lost great loves and in many ways, lost themselves.

"Of course he's not. He's too good for that," Caius growled. If Marcus was the fondest of Edward, Caius was easily the least. When Edward came to the guard nine years ago, Caius was in favor of killing Edward and the entire Cullen coven. "We're sending you out tonight."

"What's it for this time?" Edward asked. He was indifferent about his missions. The Volturi sent him all over the world to clean up after rogue vampires. It wasn't enjoyable work but for Edward, it was at least something to do.

"A newborn is drawing attention in South Africa. You are to kill her and her creator," Caius said with a narrow glare.

"Demetri will go with you," Aro added.

"I can go on my own," Edward replied, adjusting the cuffs of his jacket.

"Demetri _will _go with you," Caius repeated angrily.

Edward took the demand this time and pursed his lips in discontent. "Is that all?"

No one answered him and he locked his jaw. He turned on his heel but Aro cleared his throat. "I spoke with Heidi, Edward," he started cheekily; "she informs me you're rather sullen."

"He's always sullen. He's pathetic," Jane piped in from the shadows.

"I'm fine," Edward insisted with a grunt.

"I know you've resisted her help before, but I think it would be wise if you would allow Corin a chance to ease some of your pain, Edward," Aro said. He looked to his left and quickly barked. "Corin!"

The vampire peeled out from the darkness, her red eyes wide and eager. Dark hair was tied behind her head and she smoothly moved for Edward. He quickly took a step back. "Keep her away from me," Edward growled.

"It's for your own good Edward. We wouldn't want your depression to interfere with your work…"

"Don't touch me!" Edward shouted at Corin. She hesitated as he backed away.

"Do it Corin!" Caius ordered.

"I'll kill her," Edward warned.

"If you make a move to do such a thing, there will be repercussions," Caius smiled.

Corin moved for Edward and he backed further away. Corin's ability to take pain away was not only addictive but went against everything Edward wanted. His depression, his sadness, his anger was the only thing he had left from Bella. It was the only strength he had to stay with the guard. He needed his pain. "No!" Edward shouted.

"Jane! Alec!" Aro said. The siblings were eagerly prepared to strike when a loud voice cut in.

"Enough!" Marcus screamed. He stood on his feet, bringing the chambers to a standstill. "Do not touch him!"

Edward stared up at Marcus in awe as did the rest of group. Even Aro and Caius were momentarily struck by surprise. Marcus stood with his chest out, eyes filled with purpose rather than the emptiness they usually held. His next words came out much softer. "Leave him be."

Corin looked to the other leaders and Aro gave her a firm nod. Edward watched as Marcus collapsed back into his chair. Their eyes connected for a long beat and in a few slow breaths, Edward read the man's mind. Understanding existed between them. Marcus too avoided the help of Corin – he understood that pain was all they had left. He wouldn't dare let the Volturi take that away from Edward.

"You may go, Edward," Aro advised, still reeling from Marcus' unusual outburst. "Demetri will join you shortly."

Edward moved slowly for the chamber doors, struck by the notion that perhaps he had an ally after all.


End file.
